Surviving the MAUL

I just got done reading Money Saving Mom's recent adventure to the mall.
I replied with a few tips on how to survive the MAUL (as I like to call it). So I figured I would offer the same tips here.

I worked for two years at one of the more popular stores at the mall and it has broke me of any desire to go to the mall.

I learn to walk against the flow of traffic (otherwise you are constantly stopping behind groups of young giggling girls goggling some young boys or the occasional mom with the three wide stroller) and dart in and out of people.
I try to Shop alone and without other people who don't know this trick, because they will slow me down.

I park near the fire exits near the actual stores. I use the fire exits for quick entries and exits (I have yet to hear them go off). But beware professional shoplifters like to use the exits for the same reason. So if security gives you an odd look that's why.

And if I must MUST go during the holiday season, I go during the GAME. For us, it's the Indianapolis Colts.
The first time I walked into the mall during a Colts game, it was eerie and I was totally confused by the lack of people and the wealth of parking.

And finally don't look anyone in the eye. The minute they make eye contact with you, those kiosk vendors turn rabid on you. They will yell at you, grope at your arm, and follow you like zombies.
Not like real zombies, but like salespeople who have a large quota to fill.

Anyway those are my suggestions. Good luck to everyone in the Holiday Shopping Game. And GO COLTS.